One thing I hate about this new job is that I have to battle against this stupid home-brewed software program all day. It keeps getting more complex and more technical, harder and harder for my simple English-major brain to wrap itself around. One nice thing about it is the breakfasts.
We’re both tenants of and consultants to the Atlantic Media Company, which is a particularly incestuous relationship and sends me scurrying to and fro, putting out fires and meeting with all sorts of AMC personnel. A few months ago, when we were only tenants, the third floor cafeteria was off-limits. Now, as consultants, we get to enjoy full cafeteria privileges.
The breakfast menu: Assorted bagels with industrial toaster, cream cheese, jelly and peanut butter. Assorted fruits, including a combination of bananas, apples, pears and oranges. Fruit cups including a combination of honeydew, cantaloupe and grapes.
It may not sound like very much. In fact, it may sound like a shitty continental breakfast at the Red Roof Inn. If you walked into work every day and picked up a banana, a jalapeño bagel, an apple for later and a cup of coffee, how much better would your morning be? What if they had pears sometimes? What if it was free? Yeah, that’s what I’m talking about. It’s a pleasure.
Some pleasures, though, are greater than others. No. It’s even starker than that. I’ve grown jaded. I admit it. The banana situation has started to piss me off. Banana availability has suffered the past month. If they’re available, they’re green. I’ve been able to eat a banana maybe eight times in the past four weeks. This bullshit has to stop. Rosita, for the love of God, please consistently deliver me the bananas I so richly deserve.
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