Beating the US Passport Office

I dunno how many of you saw the limp, battered, threadbare passport I've been hauling around for the past six years, but for those who missed it, know that the Chinese Embassy's claim that it was "too worn" is unassailable.

Unfortunately, they told me this on Wednesday afternoon, meaning I needed to get a new passport on Thursday, get a visa issued on Friday and get on a plane at 840 AM on Saturday.

The good news is that this is possible, largely because the US Passport Office is well-organized and efficient, when compared to other government consumer-facing organizations I have battled. Here's what I learned:

- DC's Passport Office doors open at 8 AM and close at 3 PM, but the best time to go is around 1015 or right at 2:50.
- The appointment system is a total sham. Making an appointment gets you nothing but a finger pointing you to the same line everyone else stands in, and an inability to make an appointment is not prohibitive. Just show up.
- When you show up, make sure you have all the proper documentation or they will send you packing before you get through the metal detector.
- For the first trip, I recommend showing up at 2:50. The document checking lines have shortened by then, and they don't start dealing with the couriers until after 3.
- For the second trip (to pick up your passport), I recommend showing up at least one hour after your scheduled pick-up time, if not later. Almost everyone I was in line with, including myself, was told that our passports were "still an hour away" when we made it to the front of the pick-up line the first time.

Because of the time crunch, I shelled out $200 for an expediting service to secure my Visa. If I had to do it again, I would just go down to the Chinese Embassy and get one myself, but it was worth the money for the guarantee that I was getting on that flight (thanks Arlene!).

Anyway, the moral of the story is that US Passport Office is well-run, as agencies go, that you can buy a ticket to Shanghai on a Tuesday and wake up there on a Sunday, and that the microbrew renaissance has not come to the "The Aviation Lounge" in the Shanghai airport. I'm getting another Carlsberg.