Teambuilding Christmas Roundtable

I unloaded a couple hoppers of paintballs at my coworkers during our company Christmas party. Then I drank most of a quart of whisky.

Stalking through the woods with a gun in my hand, simultaneously hunter and hunted, was a new and wonderful sensation. I felt hyper-alert and hyper-sensitive, and gained a new level of respect for our armed forces. To be fair, I was building off a pretty low base there, but the physical act of warfare, even simulated, lossless warfare, proved to be an emotional rollercoaster. So, good for you, GI Joe. Your job takes more than I thought.

As predicted, smart, liberal consultants playing paintball in the woods yielded hilarious results. The consensus-bult plans were followed by mediocre execution, an analysis of the effects of playing paintball on children yielded no conclusions and everyone left with a host of bumps, scrapes and bruises. The play itself was even, until our fearless leader and course native took himself out of the action by trying (and failing) to ford a creek. Though clearly outmatched, we did manage to eek out one victory during those later rounds.

Following the paintball, we enjoyed dinner at a fine italian restaurant in downtown Charlottesville. I enjoyed the civilized, hopeful discourse, the simple, hearty fare and several glasses of Maker's Mark.